Is there anything worse than the unrequited soul mate love?
You’ve found your person. You know you are destined to be together. You have nightly adventures together in your mind. Nothing has ever felt so sure or real.
You just can’t believe he doesn’t know it. When will he wake up and realize your shared destiny?
The Effects of Unrequited Love
Unrequited love can impact us in a variety of ways. Chief among them are:
Confusion. Are you crazy? Is this crazy? Why aren’t things working out like the fairy tales said they would? Longing. Maybe there is a desperate need to connect to this person. Rejection. How can your soul mate reject you? Huh? What? Is it you? Existential crisis. This can cause you to question who you are, your belief system, the meaning of life, and go into a deep, dark rabbit hole.
Okay, It’s Bad. What Do You Do?
You know the person either isn’t into you or isn’t free, so the first thing you do is accept it. It’s not going to happen.
Step two is to act as if that boat has sailed. Don’t continue to nurture it with thoughts of “what if…” or “someday.” Don’t cyber stalk them to find out how they are doing. Don’t show up in places where she hangs out.
Close the door. Respect the no and keep it moving. A wound can’t heal if you keep poking it.
Count your blessings. They did you a favor by saying no. They didn’t string you along or compromise their principles. They demonstrated what healthy boundaries and respect looks like. Learn from this.
Grieve. We don’t get out of this life without losses and pain. Pain is part of it. The loss of hope is real. Feel your feelings.
Do a deep dive into who you are and what you need. Your heart is open. Use that emotion to feel your feelings. Journal your story. See into the deepest recesses of your heart and know yourself.
Be social. It may feel tempting to go cocoon in a dark corner in front of the tv with a box of popcorn. Don’t. Get out. Talk. Laugh. Shop. Sing. Dance. Keep that energy moving in happy ways.
When you’re ready, give your heart to someone who can love you back. It will happen.