We all have that moment when we feel we can’t do it anymore. We realize that something in our lives is an overwhelming and total wreck. Maybe we’re a hoarder. We always knew it, but now it’s in our face. We feel the weight of it, how it is sapping the life from us, and we can’t do it anymore.

Or maybe it’s a dead relationship, a life-draining job, drinking too much, or health problems. Or maybe you’re tired of being the one who takes care of everyone else, but never gets the same consideration.

Whatever it is, we can’t ignore it or sleep through it anymore. We just can’t do it anymore. Something has to be done.

To every thing, there is a season

Ecclesiastes 3, The Bible

A Time to Die

I’m not talking about suicide, but I am talking about dying. Death is a part of life, and if we’re doing it the way nature designed, we’re always cycling between dying and rebirthing.

Being in a place of “I can’t do it anymore” is not living. Life cannot blossom if there is no space. Dying creates space.

Only, we don’t do that in our culture. We pretend that death doesn’t exist. It’s a dirty word that we’re not allowed to contemplate or participate in. We pretend that relationships, happiness, success, and even life lasts forever. We hold on for dear life. When things don’t last, we’re devastated and surprised.

The first part of getting through the “I can’t do this anymore” feeling is to accept that it’s time to die. Whatever is killing you, overwhelming you, or harming you has to go. It’s either you or it. Choose you.

It’s Going to Get Harder Before It Gets Easier

For some people, making the decision to quit is liberating. After that, if you want healing and rebalancing, comes the hard work of cleaning up the mess and rebuilding your life.

Think about it. The space of “I can’t do it anymore” typically looks like either living in a hoarder house or a desert. We’re either people who take on stuff or sacrifice stuff. If we’re the type to swallow our comments and take on other people’s burdens, it’s like living in a hoarder house full of crap that we don’t need that impedes our progress. If we are the type to sacrifice for others, it’s more like there is nothing left for ourselves.

When all we can see is a mountain of garbage, or a whole lot of nothing, your life requires drastic change. You could clean for weeks, or walk for weeks, and the scene won’t change.

Healing “I Can’t Do It Anymore

You have to change the underlying belief that created it in the first place. This would be something like:

  • I can’t be happy unless you’re happy.
  • It’s my job to put you first.
  • I don’t get a say. I don’t matter.
  • I have to play small so that I don’t overwhelm people.
  • Happiness is a goalpost that is one achievement or purchase away.

Until this is done, you will be on a hamster wheel of creating the same situation all over again in a different way. Maybe it’s the same relationship with a different partner, a massive weight loss followed by regaining it, or a drug relapse. Until the inside changes, you won’t make lasting changes on the outside.

Fortunately, this part could be easy. If you’re in an “I can’t do it anymore” place, let’s work together. Let’s change the program so you can create a future that is balanced, happy, and in alignment with your true self.