Why We Don’t Talk About Our Dreams
Dreams are a treasure trove of information! They are a free risk management tool that can make your life safer, more fun, and easier. Yet we don’t talk about our dreams – at least not outside the therapist’s office. Why?
It Feels Self Indulgent
Holding someone hostage while you divulge your nocturnal vision can feel selfish. It can seem like there is nothing in it for the listener. In our dream deprived/sleep deprived society, this could be so. We don’t spend a lot of time thinking about dreams nor do we value them. If this is what is stopping you, feel free to join my Facebook group. That’s all we do is talk about dreams. Your dreams will be appreciated there because they give everyone practice in learning the language of dreams.
One more tip about this. Before telling your dream, practice your storytelling skills. A dream that meanders, gets bogged down in details, and goes around in circles isn’t all that interesting. On the other hand, we all love a juicy, thought provoking story.
We Think The Content is Weird
Everyone has weird dreams. Dreams are not left brained creatures. They are comprised of symbols. They aren’t restricted by the physical world. If you walk on water, have your feet facing backward, or talk to aliens, that’s par for the course. Nobody who has dreams of their own is going to look at you any differently for having dreams that behave like dreams.
Sex with your boss generally isn’t lunchroom conversation, but a sex dream about your boss isn’t quite the same thing. I can see how the thought of it might be embarrassing. You might be asking yourself if you have some hidden desire that you aren’t acknowledging. In reality sex dreams are common. They don’t usually mean that you’re having sex, you will have sex, or that you want to have sex with anyone. If your audience doesn’t know this, it could be embarrassing.
Once you know this, it doesn’t have to be. It’s no more embarrassing than if you were naked or you got caught stealing in a dream. Everything is symbolic.
We Don’t Want to Be Exposed
As you get familiar with dreams, you can start to see your life in them. Everyone is entitled to privacy, so I am not suggesting that you put yourself on display. However, dreams aren’t always what we think they are. Dreams can also have more than one meaning. For example, let’s say the obvious meaning of eating dinner with family is telling you that you need social nourishment. It might also be saying that your appetite for success is not being fulfilled. If you have only your own interpretations to go off of, you could be missing the boat.
You know what? We’re all works in progress. Everyone is growing. If you aren’t willing to put yourself out there to be judged, your growth is going to be limited. This isn’t to say that you should tell all your dreams to all people. I’m just asking you to consider the cost/benefit of sharing your dreams.
Also keep in mind that even if someone has an opinion about what your dream means, you are the authority on your dreams. If snow symbolizes purity for you, you might have a dream where it means an unpleasant new beginning or a power outage. Meanings vary from person to person and from time to time. So anyone who tries to judge you based on their interpretations of your dreams is on really shaky ground.
We Think We’re Weird
Sometimes we’re worried that if people saw our inner world, they’d think we are weird. So we hide our weirdness by not sharing our dreams. In Native American cultures, people with the ability to dream true were highly respected. They use their dreams to find game. This meant the difference between life and death. In the Bible, Joseph’s ability to interpret Pharaoh’s dream saved the Egyptians from famine. A hundred years ago in England, dreams were used to solve crimes. Had Julius Caesar listened to his wife’s dream warnings, he may not have died when and how he did. I’d say all those things are valuable.
Dreaming is not weird. Dreams are not weird. We’ve just become so isolated from our inner world that we are strangers to it. So, I am encouraging you to get curious. Find out what’s inside you. Find someone to share your inner world with. If you do, you will have a vibrant, current, personal tool for self growth.