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Why Do We Engage in Negativity? (And What To Do About It)
Why Do We Engage in Negativity? I recently returned to social media by opening a Twitter account and was immediately assaulted with negativity. I wondered, “Why do we engage in negativity?” What I found out was actually no surprise. Humans have a negativity bias. We notice and remember things we don’t like or that hurt more
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Why “Compromise” Is a Bad Word
Avoid this like the plague! Why “Compromise” Is a Bad Word If you grew up like me, you were taught to compromise. This is a horrible idea! Let me tell you why! Compromise Is a Lose/Lose The word “compromise” is a verb that means to arrive at a settlement by each side making concessions. That’s
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How Manage Holiday Expectations
How to Manage Holiday Expectations Did you know that the template for Christmas was created by Charles Dickens, Courier and Ives, and Christmas songs and stories? Yep, it’s all manufactured. While most of them were created to give us feelings of joy and cheer, they also set this expectation that we all have wonderful, warm
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Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations
Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations Lots of coaches will tell you to dream big and “Go big, or go home.” While optimism is a great practice that helps people achieve and live more satisfying lives, nothing kills happiness faster than unrealistic expectations. What’s the difference between optimism and unrealistic expectations? Optimism is a generally positive
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Are You Sexually Harassing Someone? Here’s 11 Signs
Are You Sexually Harassing Someone? I recently read an article where Quentin Tarrantino lamented not taking the sexual harassment allegations against collaborator, Harvey Weinstein, more seriously. Tarrantino basically said that he knew, but didn’t want to deal with it because it was low level stuff (my interpretation). This tells me that we still don’t know
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When You Wish Your Parents Were Different
When You Wish Your Parents Were Different The approaching holidays can bring up thoughts like: I’m supposed to be with my family now; We’re supposed to be happy; This is supposed to be a good time; Why don’t I feel loved? When the reality doesn’t align with the expectation, this can lead to wishing that
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Letting Go of The Need for Certainty Before You Act
Letting Go of the Need for Certainty Before You Act Do you have a need for certainty before you act? This often looks like projecting several movements ahead, and eliminating all possibilities except the one you desire. How often does that happen? Not often, right? We can’t eliminate all possibility of something undesirable happening because
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Letting Go of Social Isolation
Letting Go of Social Isolation Lots of people socialize less when the weather cools. We stay inside where we are snuggly warm. With the covid headlines talking about the reimplementation of mask wearing and requiring vaccines, even more people are staying away from social gatherings. While staying safe, warm, and comfortable is good, too much
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Five Easy Changes To Create Connection
Five Easy Changes to Create Connection By far the most common complaint I hear among people in counseling is the lack of connection. Loneliness is epidemic and nobody seems to know how to do anything about it. You see, it’s not about how many friends you have on social media or how often you go
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Want a Committed Relationship? Let Go of Situationships.
Want a Committed Relationship? Let Go of Situationships. The likelihood of going from a situationship to a committed relationship isn’t great. If you want a committed relationship, let go of situationships. It’s really that easy. What’s a Situationship? A situationship is a sexual relationship that doesn’t have a defined label. It’s casual. There are no
