Want a Committed Relationship? Let Go of Situationships.

The likelihood of going from a situationship to a committed relationship isn’t great. If you want a committed relationship, let go of situationships. It’s really that easy.

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What’s a Situationship?

A situationship is a sexual relationship that doesn’t have a defined label. It’s casual.

There are no defined boundaries, expectations, or labels, so anything goes. These can last for a night or be long standing, but there is no consistency or reliability.

What’s The Difference Between Dating and a Situationship?

It’s appropriate to be without labels and expectations when we begin dating someone. Neither party knows whether they like each other yet, if they are compatible, or what they might want from each other.

Dating is the process of figuring that out. However, once you cross the line into a sexual relationship, if you don’t know where you stand, it becomes a grey area. Are you friends with benefits, monogamish, or a booty call?

Sleeping with strangers invites complications, let downs, and feelings of being used, lonely, or feeling lost in limbo. One way to avoid that is to create standards before you enter into a sexual relationship.

Why Situationships Don’t Lead to Relationships

Many people choose situationships because they aren’t comfortable with intimacy. They don’t know how to be alone.

Some may not know how to have non-sexual intimacy or how to be vulnerable. Some don’t know how to engage in healthy conflict or practice healthy boundaries. So, a situationship is ideal.

The problem is that being in a situationship, or a series of them, won’t give anyone the life experience to develop those skills. And since they don’t actually know how to have a healthy, committed relationship, the likelihood of the situationship turning into one is very low.

So What Do You Do?

If you want a committed relationship, say no to the situationship.

Tell your romantic prospects that you want to take things slow. Date.

Take your time getting to know someone before becoming intimate.

Invest in the relationship to show them what you are offering. Let them show you what they can offer you.

Discover whether the two of are good company, can grow together, laugh together, and get through rough spots before you give them your time and body. See if you are compatible.

You don’t have to accept a situationship. If you are clear about what you want and set your boundaries, you leave the door open for what you want to show up.