What You Didn’t Know About Yelling But Should
"But he only listens when I yell"
This is what I hear from all my clients who admit to an angry communication issue.
It's not true, and it's not a reason to justify screaming.
Yelling Inhibits Trust and Understanding
Yelling is a power play to state "I am mightier than you." It's a way of puffing up and taking control over a situation by dominating someone else.
This never feels good for the person on the receiving end.
And it ruins trust.
When someone complies, it is out of fear, not understanding.
In fact, when someone is screaming, our brain goes into fight or flight mode and has a harder time registering words because the part of the brain that thinks is suppressed. If they comply, it's often out of survival.
This can result in depression, anxiety, people pleasing, a loss of self-esteem, and damaging the relationship.
People Who Yell Were Often Yelled At
We are taught how to yell, when to yell, and that yelling will help us get our needs met. What we are not taught is the emotional and relational cost.
If you feel the cost is too high, you can always learn something new. Here are some tips to get you started.
Everyone deserves to feel safe.
And most of us want healthy, connected relationships. Learning how to communicate calmly and respectfully goes a long way in making that happen.
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