Remember this?
Do You Like Me? Yes or No
Remember when we were little kids and someone would slip you a note in school that read, “Do you like me?” and there would be a box to check yes or no?
It was innocent and cute to get that kind of approval back then, but if you are still seeking external validation as an adult, that might be something to work towards letting go of.
Let’s Look at 2 Big Reasons Why External Validation is Never Enough
You Always Want More
Getting praise, likes, compliments, and other forms of approval is like a drug. It makes you high for a little while and then you need more.
No matter how much you get, no matter how great the achievement that they acknowledge, you can’t coast on it for the rest of your life. It’s like a bottomless pit that you have to continuously feed.
And that can get really taxing for those whom you rely on to fill you up.
The Approval That You Really Seek Is Your Own
The reason why we seek outside approval is that we doubt our own worth. We either tear ourselves down or don’t believe anyone would like us, think we’re beautiful, have something to offer.
Since this is our inner belief, we need someone we trust more to contradict that. This is both why there is never enough to fill you up and why it doesn’t last.
How To Fill Yourself Up
If you look at people who have high self-esteem, you will notice that they share certain habits and characteristics.
I’m going to suggest that you “act as if” you are one of them and fake it until you make it. When you begin to think and act like someone who loves himself, love may follow.
If it doesn’t, there may be some emotional blocks that need to be removed first. If I can help with that, please reach out. In the meantime, here are some tips:
Tips For Acting As If You’re Worthy
Iove your body by giving it healthy, fresh, alive food at regular intervals. Avoid processed foods, artificial colors, and sugar.take care of your body by practicing a healthy hygiene routine. keep your body fit by moving it. Walking, swimming, tai chi, and yoga are excellent choicesbalance your brain with meditationhave a healthy sleep routine. Going to bed before 10 p.m. and waking up at the same time is fabulous for balance.clean your space. An uncluttered space helps with mood.keep good company. Humans need social interaction. Since we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, it helps to have curious friends who challenge you.do something for others. Giving back and being involved helps us to feel connected and valued.minimize stress. avoid things that destabilize your mind, body, or emotions like excessive drinking, using drugs, and drama, learn something that you enjoy well enough to feel good about it. Being competent is an ego booster.be true to yourself. Say no when you mean no. Say yes when you’re a yes. Speak your truth.be humble. This doesn’t mean you put yourself below others. It means that you know your worth and have an equal appreciation for others.no pedestals. No looking down on others. Just like you can’t elevate or lower yourself, be careful not to do it to others either.
As you can see, nothing here is rocket science, but you might be amazed at how many of these things that people who seek external validation don’t do. Changing a few things can make a huge difference in how you feel about yourself.
Pay attention to how you feel as you do these things. The process will give you lots of feedback that can help you continue your growth.
If you’d like more support, check out my Let It Go Now community.