How to Be Okay When You've Grown Apart from Your BFF

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I love my friends. I still keep in touch with many of them from as far back as elementary school. In my mind, our shared childhood is a treasure trove of stories that only we know, so it's sacred.

That makes it sad to realize you've grown apart from your BFF. 

I know people grow in different directions, at different rates, and at different times. Being in a relationship while one is single is a challenge. 

Being in school while the other isn't, and having kids that are of a different age puts us in different life stages. Not to mention that as we mature, we can grow into really different people, so it's not reasonable to think that people will stay with us throughout life.

But, this wasn't us. We've only had one argument during our entire friendship. Although we're different in many ways, our differences were never an issue. 

We've seen each other though boyfriends, babies, moves, break-ups, and death. We know where each other has buried the bodies.

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So What Do You Do Now?

Everything in life changes. If this happens to you, here are some suggestions for how to be okay with it.

If you think a conversation will help, talk it out. Maybe your friend's version of events is different from yours. 
Be grateful for all that you have been to each other in the past. Present circumstances don't change that. 
Love yourself and your friend enough to accept things as they are. We all need different people and different experiences at different times. Just because you each need different things now doesn't mean it will always be that way.
Send your friend love. When in doubt, love it out. Love is never wrong. 

I'm not sure where we got this idea that awesome relationships last forever. Maybe fairy tales. 

I'm also not sure where we got this idea that break-ups or changes have to be heart-breaking. 

It's not mean, selfish, or a betrayal to move in a different direction. Nobody owes us life long companionship. 

Growth can sometimes mean we grow apart. If this happens to you, love yourself and your friend enough to want the best for them. Then, let it go.


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